Remembering.

What's the scariest moment in your entire life? The time you thought, "there is no way I'm going to live." Your worst nightmare?
I must have blocked mine out, but it all came back to me last night. This is totally embarrassing, but I am terrified to be home alone at night. I've always wondered why. But, I finally remember.

When I was about 14, I had to babysit for someone on the corner of Dort Hwy. and Coldwater Road. (Pretty rough area...) Well, it was pretty late (around 2 a.m.) when I noticed a drunk guy walking around in the driveway. He was screaming and swearing. I was praying he wouldn't knock on the door. He did alot more than just knock on the door... He came into the house. (I know I locked the doors... he must have broken in..) Luckily, the baby was asleep and I had the lights off in the room I was in. While he was in the kitchen right next to me, swearing and going through the cupboards, I was curled up on the couch hyperventilating, crying, and silently praying that he would leave. A 14 year old girl is no match to a beligerant drunk man. He sat in the kitchen for a good hour. That was the longest hour of my life. I honestly thought he'd find me and rape and/or kill me. And remembering it now, it is so clear to me. I feel as if I were still curled up on that couch, scared to death. There's no doubt what he would have done if he found me. I don't think I ever told my mom until today. It was pure fear.
Now, I have no doubt that that incedent has ruined my independence. I am petrified of being alone. He ruined it for me.

Seriously, is that not messed up?